Dance

I am in a room, maybe of a castle. The walls are stone and it has the feeling of ancientness. The room is a bedroom. There is a large bed across the room from me. It has beautiful looking linens and many pillows. It looks decadent and welcoming. I am sitting at a small table, polished wood, maybe oak. There are many shelves built into the wall and they are filled with books and scrolls, parchment and pages. The table before me is piled high as well. A book is open before me. On the right hand side is a picture, it is beautifully drawn, bright and vibrant like it has been painted with shining jewels. There is a tree, an old ancient tree. From behind a face peers. He is cheeky and fun, a satyr perhaps, like Mr Taumnus or the god Pan. The tree is surrounded by flowers each a different colour and mix. I feel looking at this picture there is something missing. A woman perhaps, or maybe an animal but I am not sure.

A poem sits on the other page and though I try to read it the words never quite focus. I turn the page and there is a great tower, it is being struck by lightning and it is falling. I feel that I am inside the tower and I can feel it falling around me. Great stones toppling around me. The air is oppressive and I feel its weight. It is a great thing this tower falling. I know no magic could save its destruction. The page beside it is not fuzzy, its words beautifully calligraphy on the page.

Falling stones, falling moments, falling memories. Life rises and falls it is the nature of these things. As it falls around you be not afraid for all things must fall if we are to rebuild. This is your rebuilding. It is not smooth as the destruction is not complete yet. You feel the turmoil and destruction within you and around you. It flows through your mind and your soul and you are wound tight within it. You are near snapping and in places you have frayed. But have strength it will not tumble forever and then you may in all earnestness rebuild your tower within and without.

Do not look to the future but look to yourself. To the now and the how of who you have become and who you might wish to be. You cannot see the path ahead but need to find a place to put your feet. Look inside and see what you wish the path to hold, what you might imagine the destination to be. Walk the first step. Do not hurry.

Rome was not built in a day and neither were you. It takes time to tear down and time to build up. It takes time to return and to set forth once more. You will not build alone, you will not walk alone. You are not alone. But this alone is your decision. This alone is your struggle and though we may help we do so only at your bidding

A man enters I know him to be Valdinor but he is not in the appearance I know. “The shell is yours to change at will, as it is for me.” He says crossing the room to take my hand. I know this is not just a metaphor. My shell is mine to change if I can accept it and change it. He leads me from the room and we are in a courtyard of ruins. The vines have claimed the stones as their own and the result is beautiful. He twirls me by my hand “We have not danced in many moons, sometimes you forget you have. Your soul wishes to dance daily and yet you deny it the music from within it. You must dance and in the melody you will find your peace.” Our last dance was slow moving, elegant and beautiful. This dance as he leads me is passionate and fiery, quick moving and energetic. He stands taller now but somehow he is still the perfect height to dance me around the old stones. He dips me slowly and then spins me from him fast. I am now moving alone. The music is within me, I lead the step. I sway my body spinning to the beat. My body is alive with sensation and motion. My eyes are closed and I feel spirits around me dancing and moving with me. I sense Valdinor watching me, I sense his smile and his pride. I have not forgotten the dance of my soul, it is still here within me, flowing in my movement. I soar in delight. This is my magic. I hear his footsteps behind me and he take me into his arms once more and we dance together.

“Dance whenever, dance wherever. There is joy in you, there is magic in you and only in motion can you find this part of yourself. Dance often, feel the music.”

He dips me low and as he raises me up I return to myself