Raven – Magic – OWN your power

Snake – Healing – You are a HEALER

Swan – Grace – APPRECIATE THE BEAUTY inside and all around you

So these seem pretty straight forward and what I need to hear today. I do need to honour my soul’s purpose more. I know I have all these things I want to achieve, maybe that I am meant to achieve and I haven’t achieved most of them as yet. I have a tendency to get distracted by the fun stuff in the world and in life, things that often don’t matter and definitely don’t help me get ahead in life. Like tweeting the golden globes yesterday, while obviously fun and all it didn’t help my writing get finished. It didn’t help me meditate and it didn’t help me teach the faeling child anything (except stop touching the computer but then again he didn’t seem to want to learn that)

I am a healer and the first thing I need to heal is myself. And I am working on it but I know I can work harder. I have good days and bad days. I need to have more good days, days where I like myself just that little bit more. Where I can see the beauty that is inside me, the beauty my friends and family obviously see and love. Sometimes it is hard to do. Especially at those times of the month when I am pre period so retaining that extra little chubbiness. (I nearly wrote chubby but decided that had far too many dodgy comments and I am not Ricky Gervais and can’t get away with dodgy erectile jokes)

I am enjoying working on Children of the Immortals and I am starting to see the themes in there. The messages and teachings I want to get out into the world. I think that has been my problem in the past the themes just haven’t been there or have been too hidden or too obvious. It is a fine balance and I think for once maybe I am going to get it right. I also need to realise that I am not writing this book for the prudes and unadvanced people who are going to freak out or get weird about some of the concepts I am conveying. They are not evolved yet enough to grasp it, well maybe next life people you can pick up my best selling writing and get something deep and meaningful from it. Or at least enjoy it as a good read.

I should be used to people not quite understanding me, I think and believe outside the box and that is cool and wonderful, I just need to stop caring what everyone else thinks and trying to be something I am not to fit in. It’s not me and if others don’t appreciate who I am truly am then I don’t really need them in my life anyway. I guess it’s the Leo in me that want to be loved by all and adored by many. But the Leo in me should also want them to adore me for me and not as someone else. So today’s mission be myself totally everywhere I go and communicate. Own my uniqueness, my power. Stand tall and shake my feathers for everyone to see. I hate pretending and editing myself to be more user friendly.

As Mika says Love Love ME!

Lizard – Dreamtime – Pay attention to your DREAMS and VISIONS

Well these two cards seem to slot together quite nicely. And it is what I am trying to do, though I think they go a bit deeper. I want to have daily meditation as part of my new regime and I didn’t yesterday. Granted yesterday was day one and I am not quite that brilliant that I assume I can do everything I want to from the very first day. I’ve done that before and it never lasts being all that gung ho. So I am not pushing myself. I have half a lifetime of experience in rebooting my life and I know what works and what doesn’t. But today I think, no I know, that I can find the time to meditate. I need to do it. I learn so much from my meditations. And I think perhaps I am ready now to act on them. So many lessons and offers of wisdom and help in my meditations have been pushed aside by me. Fear and laziness are the main culprits. Mainly laziness. It’s so much easier to just go along with the status quo in life than to push yourself for transformation. It’s so much easier to be (lol just typed me by accident, think that is a sign in itself lol) a normal person. Who wants to change and have to deal with the extra issues of being more aware and enlightened?

So if I’m doing this I guess I better be doing it all the way. And that means committing to my meditations too. They tell me things for a reason, there are things I can do to change and evolve, I need to just take the time and effort to do these things.

Spirit and dreamtime here I come!

Rabbit – Fertility – You Creativity is at a peak
Buffalo – Abundance – You are provided for in all ways
Cougar – Confidence – Be bold and take charge
Lion – Courage – Ask for what you want
Otter – Surrender – Let go of control

I dreamed of an animal I still don’t know what it was but I was leaning towards leopard or cougar so I guess it makes sense that a big cat popped up in my reading.

Last night I was feeling a bit sorry for myself that I had all this time and nothing to do. Totally wrong of course as a writer there is always something to do if I just man up and make an effort. Its like that with most things with me. If I actually get my a into g and do something I can achieve all kinds of things. I’m not sure why I am so wired sometimes to laziness and copping out.

I need to get over that and grow up. Every decision I make is my own and I do not need to let so many “hard-wired” things control my life. I let myself seem that way, nothing else is controlling me just me.

So last night I did some writing, and this morning I did some more. I’ve done some house keeping and made a loaf of bread that is cooking. I can achieve so much. No minute should be wasted. I have no excuses except myself and I hate when people make stupid excuses so I shouldn’t let myself.

Frog – Purification – CLEAR OUT the clutter
Raccoon – Resourcefulness – You have all the RESOURCES you need
Horse – Freedom – You always have a CHOICE

So the last few weeks have been frantic with family sickness and stuff. I haven’t been as active as I could have been. The last few days I have been sick AGAIN. One thing is clear to me I never get sick like this when I am active and healthy!! So I am to it today. Still not feeling the best but feeling well enough thanks to some panadol. So today I try Zumba for the first time. I flicked through the DVD and it looks fun and I love dancing what more can I want?

So I have the resources I need to do everything I want and need to do to get fit, to get healthy, to get rid of this post pregnancy overhang and get my body nice and healthy ready for us to start trying for our next child.

I always have the choice to eat good or bad and to exercise or not to exercise. And as I am lazy by nature I generally make the wrong choice for my own good.

It is time to clear out the clutter of my life, bad habits and all the emotional type stuff, as well as physical. My bedroom looks like a clothing store exploded, everything that was packed from our trip to Auckland as well as the last 2 loads of washing all got thrown into a pile after I went crazy trying to find a certain pair of Kaeden’s pants.

So I have reorganised the I AM message board and started using it again. I welcome anyone else who wants to use it with me, or just come support me.