I am going to be having a total overhaul at some stage this week or the next with TrAff as I created pages and a home page with the launch of my new endeavours. I am hoping that it answers the need in someone. The overhaul won’t happen overnight but it will happen (just like full volume hair). Ten years ago I was quite the little website creator, but alas technology is a fickle lover and she has left me far behind in this case. With some help from the Elven Lord (aka Hubby) I hope to be able achieve something that looks as good as I want while still being functional and not overwhelming.

So I tried to do the daily reading this morning while Kaeden was up. Not the best idea. He was in one of those moods where he doesn’t really need me to play with him. He just wants to know that he has my complete and undivided attention. So we gave up on that idea. I then tried again when he was in bed. Still nothing. Well I picked cards and I wrote but it was drivel and just didn’t feel right or flow in anyway. It was forced and not what I was meant to be writing. I tried channel surfing for a bit to shut my mind off for a bit and came across a Gavin Rossdale song. It wasn’t inspiring or anything in itself but it allowed my mind to still and my body to relax and as that lovely shiver of energy (or oxytocin) ran through my body a poem formed. It was one of the rambling, rhyming, lyrical variety. No punctuation just many lines of words that run off on their own little story and eventually come home. I don’t think I’ve ever posted on of these poems. I’m not sure if they can be read or have to be heard or have to be written in a spiral around a giant poster with a beautiful image in the centre. Once the poem had burst forth onto the paper I picked up the Celtic Dragon cards again and lo and behold it worked. The message to my mind flowed and worked and I feel good again about it.

I had a mild panic that I really couldn’t do it, I couldn’t read the cards more often than a few times at random intervals as they called to me. But it seems I just have to find that quietness of the soul, the peace of creation and let myself do it. And if that doesn’t work take a break, have a kitkat and come back again.

I’ve been thinking alot this morning about choosing my mood, that all my complaints are of my own choosing. That in fact I make myself miserable more than not. I also decided that some people simply use twitter to make others as depressed as they are. If we all made the effort to be happy it would be contagious I’m sure.

I’ve also been thinking about the real me and how I don’t always let her out. I am a mystical, spiritual, creative, crazy and wonderful person and I shouldn’t be so scared that people won’t like it. Cause the fact of the matter is that all the people that matter do like it, and lots that don’t matter like it. And if some people that are just sometimes sort of friends don’t well that is fine and we don’t have to become bosom buddies.

I had a work out this morning; well most of one, Kaeden wasn’t very happy at the concept of me on the floor and not being a jungle gym for him. But I haven’t done it in ages. I haven’t been on I AM in ages and written stuff down. In my shame I have been keeping away, from my own bloody website! Why am I ashamed? I preach that we shouldn’t be, that we should just try again. I should just follow my own advice. But I don’t, stupid girl that I am at times.

Okay that’s enough mental overflow for the moment.

Thanks!!

Within the Water Flows http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/within-the-water-flows/

Maiden to Mother http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/maiden-to-mother/

Redemption http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/redemption/

Bardic Satire http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/bardic-satire/

Guise of the Goddess http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/guise-of-the-goddess/

The Laws Prayer http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/the-laws-prayer/

Dewdrops and Feathers Fall http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/dewdrops-and-feathers-fall/

Dream Lessons http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/dream-lessons/

Cassandra http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/cassandra/

Parting http://www.transformationaffirmation.com/jai-the-bard/poetry-for-vote/parting/

For me it re inspired me to finish re-reading my Merlin trilogy by Mary Stewart. And also to re-watch King Arthur. These are the versions of the legends I enjoy more. Versions I could believe a lot more. I used to love the other tales of King Arthur and Guinevere and Lancelet as a kid. But not anymore really. I prefer the tales leading up to his Kingship. The tales of Merlin, the tales that could be more historically accurate. (Not saying that they are just that they could be).

I recently caught a few minutes of Stargate SG1 that was talking to a goddess or alien who was also Morgana. Looked interesting. So might have to watch Stargate SG1 sometime. I never did get a chance to watch it. I think it was on the same night as ATC.

Why is it that we love, or for some love to hate, the tales of Arthur and Merlin. They draw on the archetypes within our souls. But why have they endured so much more than other tales that have the same base. Feel free to give me an answer because I do not know. Like the other night we were talking about why Harry Potter has done so unbelievably well compared to better written stories like those of Artemis Fowl or Bartimeus. Which came out around the same time. There was just something in there that captured the right element of soul to speak to millions of people.

I wish I knew what the right formula was. I want to write that kind of books to speak to the masses. They light a spark or a fire within the soul of the reader. That speak down generations (granted Harry Potter hasn’t had the chance to do that but will be interesting to see if it is as long read as say Tolkein). I want to do that. Not for the money (tho that would be nice) but for the impact. To take the imaginings in my soul and mould the world. That is my big dream! My littlier more realistic one is to just touch one soul, maybe a couple. To make someone think, to make someone dream, to make someone imagine. To help someone find any wisdoms or imaginings locked inside their own heart. To my mind that is the dream of every true writer.

I feel good about the work I have done towards my writing this week. I stayed away from myspace and facebook. I read, I researched and I wrote. I started a short story. I started a couple of kids books (really little kids books with like 2 sentences per page) and I worked on my novels. Two ideas I have long had have melded together in my mind and I think will really work. I am really excited about writing again. My biggest problem with writing during K’s naps is how noisy my keyboard is. It has been known to wake him before. And considering I work in the open plan lounge/dining. There is no door to close to help dull the noise. Which is unfortunate. But I will figure out away around it.

I also transcribed a few poems from notebook to word document. Only about 300 to go lol! And I will go through and pick some out to put on the poetry blog. (Jai the Bard)

Now time to write my first review